Quote


But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way.
That thing I’m waiting for, for that adventure, that movie-score-worthy experience unfolding
gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and
apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and
secrets - this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of us will ever experience.

Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life, 2010

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Everyday Gifts

“You ever tried this?  You got no legs, you’re sittin’ in a wheelchair, and you’ve got to get your pants on.  Tried that?”
            I laughed as I pictured it.  “Never thought about that one, Edith.”
            Edith smiled back, “Well, it’s no picnic.” 
            It was another of Edith’s million dollar comments.  Brightened the afternoon in a moment.  She was good at that.
            Edith lived in my neighborhood.  I’d visited her occasionally; she was always a lively conversationalist.  Diabetic, her legs amputated at the knee, she told endless jokes and stories from her wheelchair:  Her helpful son, the other no-good son, why no one catalog-shops anymore, which canned pork and beans taste best… All of these were points of discussion.  Edith had the silver hair of a nearly-seventy-year-old.  Not thin, she was a lumpy, laughing lady whose lucid eyes looked straight at you from behind large round glasses. 
            I kept visiting Edith when her children moved her up to a retirement home.  I sat in her room with her, next to the window, in the sun.  Hers wasn’t one of those rooms with framed pictures of grandkids around.  Only one of her late husband sat at her bedside.  When I visited, I mostly listened, and she chatted.  Do I ever watch those “talky” shows on TV?  They said not to eat grapes.  And do you know how it is to get old and start losing your eyesight?  It stinks.  And did I tell you about the time…?  The day I sat in the cafeteria with her, I got an earful on just how bad that food was.
Edith was not at the retirement home long before she got sick.  On one visit she was not so talkative, and her answers to my questions were short.  I thought a walk in the budding Spring outside might please her.  I pushed her wheelchair up and down the lolling sidewalk around the building.  The breeze was not warm yet, but the slightly greening grass, and the daffodil leaves crowning in the dirt, were enough to gladden the heart; and it did, for both of us.
            Days passed, or weeks; I don’t remember.  I heard she was not doing so well.  I planned to drive up and pay her a visit, but my little boy was sick that week.  The next week was a conference for the women at church; I was in charge of that.  Then there was grocery shopping and house cleaning the week after that.  Finally I went.  It would be something I’d always be glad I did – she died two days later. 
Spring had fully arrived by that time.  Going up the walk, I saw trees dripping with blossoms.  Sunshine sank to my very scalp.  A bird skittered across the sidewalk.  But the warm, breezy air changed abruptly as I stepped into the rest home.  Air cool and medicinal made me feel unwelcome. 
I walked down tiled halls, beneath glaring fluorescent lights.  There were no windows.  A man at the end of the hall rocked back and forth in his wheelchair.  A hunched woman followed me with her eyes, then reached out a hand to me.  I squeezed it with a “Hello.”
Edith’s room was at the end of the hall.  No sound came as I entered, and it was dark.  Sunshine tried pushing through the drawn curtains, but I could only barely make out the lone figure in the chair.  She sat in the middle of the room, her head on her chest, asleep.  I hesitated, wondering whether to wake her.  But Edith always loved a visit, and would hate to miss one. 
“Edith?” I whispered, close at her side.  “Edith, it’s Danette.”
She roused immediately, but her eyes were foggy as she slowly raised her head to me. 
“I thought I’d drop in for a visit today,” I said, “How are you?”
After a pause, she spoke, her tongue thick and words slow: “My groceries…No…Not here.”  She looked at me with half-closed eyes.  Confused, I asked again how she was.  She mumbled something unintelligible.  I asked if she was okay.  Was she in pain?  There was no response; her head began to drop onto her chest again.
She couldn’t be that sleepy, could she?  Maybe it was medication making her this way.  But she always liked visitors.  She always had things to tell me.  She always loved chatter.
I gently woke her again, and asked how her son was.  She looked at me blankly.  “Your son?” I pursued, “Greg?  Has he been to visit you?” 
“Can’t find it,” she slurred, before she left again, seemingly sound asleep.
I’d never seen her like this before.  Obviously there would be no funny stories today.  So I tried to share some stories with her.  Of how I made strawberry jam for the first time last week.  And how my son caught one hundred and fifty potato bugs in a jar.  But Edith only made it partway through the first story before her chin dropped onto her chest, and her eyes closed.            
I tried a couple times more, asked if she wanted a walk outside, asked if she felt okay.  No response.  Each time I talked to her, she looked up wearily, stared at my face for just a moment, and then her head lolled and her eyes closed.
With a sigh I watched her, understanding then that the laughing, story-telling Edith probably would not be back.  I hated to leave her that way, with her hardly knowing I had been there.   My eyes glanced emptily around the room, searching for something I could do for her before I left.  Then, a thought came.
“Edith?”
I said her name twice before she was looking at me again.  “Edith, would you like me to sing something for you?  Do you have a song you’d like to hear?”
Surprisingly, a slight attentiveness sparked in her face.  A moment’s thinking, and she mumbled slowly, “Yes.  I like…‘Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.’” 
So I began.  I didn’t know the song perfectly; I’m pretty sure I put words from the third verse into the second.  But I saw quickly that it did not matter.  The music in the silent room had an instant effect on my friend, and her eyes cleared for the first time.
“The world has need of willing men
Who wear the worker’s seal.
Come help the good work move along;
Put your shoulder to the wheel…”
I looked intently in her eyes as I sang, and Edith looked back at me, lucid as ever.  Spirit connected with spirit, and a warmth flickered between us.  Edith was vividly attentive to the very last note.  She murmured, “Thank you,” her eyes closed, and she was far away again. 
She was unaware of my leaving that day, but I left satisfied.  I had brought a bright moment into her day, just as she had done for me many times before.
Simple, the gifts we human beings can give one another.  Simple but sweet.  Helen Keller said: “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.  They must be felt with the heart.”  I believe that.  I’ve been a giver and a receiver, and I’m grateful. 

Copyright © 2014, Danette Christensen, Light is All Around Me. 
Material may be shared or printed for non-commercial use, but must include this copyright notice.

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